its my turn now.

I didn't expect for it to end this way. You know, you are never a passerby to me. Whatever things that youve done, I really do appreciate all of that. Yes, those memories I couldn't forget. We met, we spent time together and we had fun. It happened as we go along... But then, now, to me, things are different. Not physically but mentally. You know I just couldn't commit and its really hard to stay put. Im sorry again if im selfish, thinking only about my side and making decision for us. Ofcourse it wouldn't be fair. When Im with you, its like putting myself somewhere Im forced to. Its really that hard for me and yes, I know its the same to you too. Everything wouldn't be the same again. We might just end up acting like nothing's wrong. Is it really difficult to be friends? Things dont have to happen now. Its just way to messy and I really dont wish to solve this now.. That's where the ignorance and silence come. I just dont know what to say/response/do. The more I say/response/do, the worst it'll be. And I dont know what to do when there's people approaching and asking me questions I really dont wanna talk about. Its like- "just shut the hell up and go away!" And posting things in the blog, its like so darn obvious. You see, like what im doing now. Huh~

HELLO!

:D first day with SMA peeps was FUN! haha. first thing that happened>> MOSQUITO ATTACK! It was unbelievable. Muina managed to kill a lot. She ended up scatching. Im lucky cause i wear jeans and covered shoes or else, i'll be joining her too. haha. We're welcomed with a jazz performance and then some lectures( i was like snoring at the back). LOL. Then performance by the DMR dudes. Wahh, I swear his voice damn nice. Thats why he got second huhh. We did the SP cheer together. Cool thing. Theres also icebreaker which is singing songs together. Then, break off into classes and meeting classmates. :) Captain Chatur will be my class tutor. He remembers me, my brother and younger sis while I dont remeber him at all. HAHA. And as for classmates, we talked as if we met each other long time ago. haha. Im gonna love being with them. :D I skipped going to ploy marina cause I got to rush off to work. Yupp. I was indeed very early.
with muina..

with MARDIAH sayang!

DMB peeps...

with Guek Chee

with Nazira

with Keefe

with Dorita

Keefe, Capt Chatur, Li Hui, Dorita,Fan Yi, Nazira, ME,

After the talk by Captain Chatur, I was like telling myself and thinking whether I should quit my job cause I thought of commiting myself into poly life. How am I going to struggle and manage my timetable. And if i were to join a CCA, its gonna be worse off. sighh. Im like gonna be super tired rushing off to work after classes or maybe during weekends. Cause that simply means that I wont be receiving enough rest. And not having enough rest means I wont be able to focus much during lessons. AIYOU. stress sio..

Hmm. Im going for flag day and MKE. haha. Asked for off from work..

GTG! TC!

i was supposed to wake up at 7 and leave home by 8 but woke up at 9 instead, ending up reaching work at 11a.m. darn, i got lectured. -_-" gold star pin not punctual. and then, while working, the stupd main course came out while the customer is still eating her appetizer. aiyouu. i got lectured again cause i forgot to put the main course on hold. silly. and then got lectured by that very experienced colleague for not using a tray when carrying a bowl. sughh. nagged and nagged, super hating it.

ouh. there's orientation tomorrow 8 to 5. and after that, i got to rush to work and reach there by 6. how the hell im gonna make it? really hoping that they'll dismiss us early.

i dont want to hang around you cause one day, i'll still be leaving you. like why do i have to waste your time? right now maybe you dont mind, maybe later, yes. this ignorance and me avoiding you, is not the best solution, of course, but what else can i do? im keeping myself busy for a sake. yes, im lucky someone made me realise that what im doing now by making myself super occupied and busy is good. so that i'll not think of it and just forget about whatever thats happening. im sorry if im unfair to you and making you suffer or something. im just too tired and lazy to entertain.

people around me kept confusing me. at times they were saying about this.. and other time saying about that. contradicting much. sigh. i guess i just have to go with the flow, try to forget what thats has past and focus more on my profession. :)

TC!