damn this life.

something's wrong with my eyes.

hello earthlots!
how's things? hmm. i've yet to get out of this house and wonder around except to visit cuzzie's house after coming home from beijing. why? cause i fell sick upon coming home. nyeahuh! ferst was sore throat, then flu followed by fever and i went coughing here and there. GOSH! irritating throat. there's too much of cold air in my lungs i think. my hands and legs shiver at times even though it wasnt cold around. gahh!
mummy and daddy has been stuffing me with @#$%^&* medicine without doctor's supervision. cool huh? im so sick and tired of medicines now. it couldnt cure the small pain in my throat which HURTS fcuking lots. damn it. and daddy, i told you so many freaking times not to smoke at home cause it HURTS my throat more and i could hardly breathe. every single breath i take, it feels like there was a fly stucked in my throat buzzing all around trying to find its way out. but wth, you didnt care and scolded me instead. ouh, wait till i go lying in the hospital bed with so many thin pins around me. ewwww! i hate you fer that. and thanks a lot mummy for ure very much concern. u'll always be there fer me and yeahh, i'm never gonna fail to be there fer you too mummy. ure the MOST beautiful and the best woman i've had ever met in earth and i love you sooooo much. =)yeoo! want some of this ?! my mummy!

ouhkay. the day was perfect until someone had to spoil it. damn her! what would you feel when ure lovely mummy was laughing her heart out with you and suddenly turned extremely sad plus pain in the heart upon knowing someone which we hated most(except that cheeky guy) was coming to visit us? wont you feel like killing the someone who had invited her and the someone who was invited? gahh! im starting to hate people around me more. damn! its not going to be a good sign okayy.
next. everyone in the house is occupied EXCEPT me. daddy with his job and computer. mummy and her job. elder sis and her boyfriend, atlast! which irritates me most cause it kept reminding me of the past(few weeks and months back). especially the way they called each other on the phone(as in sweetnames). DAMN again! im missing being on the phone with someone right now. anyone? ring me up and talk to me can?.. brother never stop cracking his head about somebody. but i salute him(only a little) cause he keep to one(unlike some FAQers as in BIG FUCKERS, asking fer another circumcise)..younger sis busy with thousand of guys texting and calling her day and night. and me?? rotting in this house, so sick and tired with things around with that addition of sore throat. i'm like a wall, watching every move and steps that people make. i read about you and tried to link everything, damn! it hurts my heart and i just dunnoe why. to sum up, i hate everything's that im facing right now. got it?
ermm. except fer this. i had a conversation with mus, my USM. haha. he told me jokes. kept me laughing sey.

here's it:

mus: where do horses go when they fall sick?
LEEN: ? dunnoe.
mus: the horse-pital
LEEN!: lol.
mus: Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10 . Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep.. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him

mus: Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.


So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .

LEEN!: haha.
mus:
last one before i sour dream
mus: what do cows do for entertainment?

they go to the moo-vies

LEEN!: haha.
LEEN!: gila sia you!
LEEN!: got animore or not?
mus: got
must: why was the bowl of soup so smelly?
LEEN!: errmmm.
LEEN!: dnnoe.
mus: coz it was the toilet-bowl
LEEN!: haha!
LEEN!: damnnn!
mus: why could the ball carry fruits?
LEEN!: errm.
LEEN!: basket ball
LEEN!: ?
mus: correct!
LEEN!: haha. YEAH!
mus: what is the quickest way to count cows?
LEEN!: huh? dunnoe.
mus: use a cow-culator
LEEN!: huhhuh!
mus: when does a computer need to wear glasses?
LEEN!: shitts! i dont konw.
mus: when it needs to improve its webSIGHT
LEEN!: haha!
mus: what driver doesn't have a license?
mus: clue:a tool
LEEN!: screwdriver
mus: correct
LEEN!: haha.
mus: why did donald duck throw the butter out of his window?
mus: clue: something to do with butter
LEEN!: hmm.
LEEN!: noo idea.
mus: to see butterfly
LEEN!: haha.
mus: *Butter-Fly*
mus: why did mickey mouse put sugar under his pillow?
LEEN!: ouh. get it!
LEEN!: ermm. what uhh?
mus: something to do with dream
mus: wat is it?
LEEN!: i dunnoe liao.
mus: sweet dream
LEEN!: ouhyarhhhhh horrhhhh.
mus: why does skeleton does not dare to cross the road
mus: Clue:related to something that does not exist below them
LEEN!: dunnoe!
mus: they go no balls
mus:*got*
LEEN!: haha.
LEEN!: lol.
LEEN!: no link.
mus: why did the bag have hands?
LEEN!: handbag.
mus: correct
LEEN!: =)
mus: last one then i gtg sweet dream
mus: why could the grass hop?
LEEN!: grasshopper.
mus: correct!!
LEEN!: =))
LEEN!: easy per.
mus: easy ehhh
mus: why can't a car play football?
LEEN!: huh?
LEEN!: dunnoe.
LEEN!: no legs
LEEN!: no foot.
mus: coz it only has one boot(boot is a parts of a car)
LEEN!: ?
LEEN!: LOL!
mus: last one see whether u can guess it
mus: where is the most dangerous city in the world?
LEEN!: no idea.
mus: something to do with electric
mus: ?
LEEN!: still no idea.
mus: electricity
mus: electric-city
LEEN!: DAMNNN!!!

and that was it. it makes me laugh for a few minutes. hurr. its been long since i laugh okayy. but thanks mus fer dat few minutes of laughter.(see, i know how to appreciate people unlike you..) hmm. im hoping fer more entertainment. ouh. ure so gonna use the same trick all over again. ask another someone how to ask fer it. then u go fer it and u get it. then u made stoopid promises and then u did this one big mistake and soon u ditch it. and u find another someone and start all over again. and cool, im one of the victim. =) such a sucker u are.

ouh GOD, show me the right way, tell me what im supposed to do, im stucked right here with nothing left except that pain in the heart about everything all around. can i suicide? =/ i wished i got the courage to do that. boohooo!
im done earthlots. its 4.30 a.m.

good'night'.
takecare people.
*takecare myself =/*
*F F F as in Fuckers Fuck Forever.*

RANDOM

hello homeland.
im back from Beijing but i wished i could stay there longer.
again, those sucky feelings came back and i just dont know how to make it go away.
i thought everything could change and start a fresh new beginning. but hell no. i just couldnt. yarhh. everyone could give advices easily but no one will understand whatever that ive gone through. friends and family took everything easily. when i kept by myself, not feeding myself, they would think im dieting. hey hell no, im just to weak to feed myself when every single day those emotions took over me. and i just cant feel my ownself. i wished i could be like u, go fer a break up.. forget about things so easily.. move on.. and start liking someone else. its just so difficult for me to forget u cause u meant so much to me. i tried hating you but it all doesnt work. the more i tried to hate u, the more i would love u. and everytime i want to move on, it feels like im stabbing and faking myself. everything around me reminds me of u. friends kept asking me why the break up. what am i supposed to say? n cuzzins would ask me 'where's ure boyfriend' and saying im dieting to take care of my figure. how more sucky could it be. and every single night before i could go to sleep, my mind is restless. i just couldnt have some peace in my mind. i would ask myself what really went wrong and why this thing's happening. and i just hope i will never wake up the next day. cause i know it will be another heart pain. those moments that we've gone through, i wish it would come back. i still remember the moment where u came running to my void deck to check things out when u thought i cheated ure feelings. ouh boy, how i miss ure jealousy, n how i miss ure anger. day by day that love grew stronger. i thought u would stay strong with all those promises u made. i trusted u with all my heart but i get nothing back in return. u thought only u could get jealous, ever u thought about me' i showed you a bit of jealousy and u went pissed off like the world has gone to an end. and i made loads of sacrifices. ive given u so much. ever did u appreciate that? ever realise how sucky it could be when u need that someone but he/she turn u down and put u away. ever been through being totally ignored' ever gone through someone you treasured most dumping u like a rubbish into the bin' i hope i could move on. but i just couldnt. and im dissappointed cause i thought u would understand me when u know uve once gone through all this. huhs. but instead u put me away. hurrr. u just put me away.. i would want to talk to someone but no one's gonna be the same as you. people, stop giving me advices. the more u give, the more it hurt my feelings. thats it.
..

*fuck you for making me like this.
*fuck you brother for shouting at my mom.
*n fuck to all the people who make my mom feel hurt.
*fuck you!*
*i hate posting this but i just couldnt stand no more*
..
takecare earthlots.

BAD-KITTY

yeah, i miss you, love..

your promises.. *sigh*

AEM at RP poly..

well, i miss that guy(name is there) on the paper. written by- a friend..

i had always wish you were right there beside me..

hellohello! =)

earthlots, today was pretty gerek! haha. I went out with my lovely+a little childish NCC mates(since exexbf couldnt make it) to watch movie; MADagascar at causeway. uhhuh! So, we met up at around one p.m. hmmph. MUS was very late. BUT, understoodable cause only he went fer friday prayers. LOL! okayy, so there were seven of us, me, ais, wahyu, habsah, faiz, syahmi n mus. We booked tickets and waited fer a few minutes before the movie starts. upon waiting, we went playing at timezone. haha. it was really fun in there, with friends all around. =)

ouhkayy. now lets talk about the movie. it was AWESOME! haha. Andand, it was fullhouse luhh sey! the starting was so cute. as madagascar was funny, there's always laughters here and there. But there was this one part, when Alex(the lion) and his friends were about to fly the plane, a boy from behind, at the theatre, stood up and said "bubbye! bye!" in a cute way. haha. macam paham sia!!! but cute. hee. hmm. from the movie, the same old lady, who called the damn big lion, 'badkitty' was like out of her mind sia. but that was what that makes the whole movie more funny.

hmmm. well, its best if u watch the movie ureself. MUST watch! =) after the end of movie, we took a few pictures; in habsah camera, and i went to buy some more things fer my trip to beijing. a few nore hours to go! weeee!  butbut, im feeling sad. he's not gonna be around.. hmmph..

well, that's it fer now..

takecare!

*haiz, i miss us being together..*