im bored, so i update.

hello!

thanks alot luhh for yesterday. haha. i took the transport provided and one of my colleagues wanted to listen to the misteri jam 12. and the driver turned it on out loud. at first im okay with it. but then as it gets lesser people in the van, i got freaked out. shit. i was the last to be sent home since i live the furthest. i sat at the front and as soon as i got off from the van, i ran home. i was like imagining things in the lift siaaa. huh. darn lucky nothing weird poped out. sial laaa. scary mannn. now im like scared to go home alone at night. ichiban sushi! thanks alot la hassan.

and today is SP's flag day. so, me and dearest classmates will be going around tanjong pagar asking for donations. those from other schools dont laugh, SP's doing somethin good. HAHA. we have the heart to help :P muahah. and in advance, i collected few bucks from dearest colleagues yesterday. wait, i aint cheating, i did told them it was meant for today and it'll be great if they donate in advance. so, fadlie was the first to donate and followed by the rest. i kinda bullied my restaurant manager, telling him to donate more. LOL. i'll be collecting Keefe's and Dorita's tin can cause they cannot make it. So, in total i'll have three tin cans with me.. KIASU luhh.

and as for the rest of the days, im gonna expose myself to sun. MKE. :D hmm. im not sure whether im really into it. i'm going just to spend time with mardiah sayang! hey, me no lesbo. and im really hoping that MKE's gonna be fine. to hope that there'll be no political stuffs and people trying to act as if they know everything.. well, i guess i'll just follow instructions cause seriously i dont know a lot about being boat crew. all that ive been doing is sitting down in the boat, rotting. ahah, just kidding.

now's 1015, and im gonna get myself ready to ask for donations.

TC!

freakkkk.

is it like my fate that wherever i go, i'll get bullied and played around? just because im young or being too friendly with people, they tend to take advantage of me? or iz it just karma, what goes around comes around? darn, its like im trying to endure whatever thats happening to me but at the end of the day, i'll just breakdown. wtf.
fcuk you. what are you trying to prove to everyone?? proving that youre so great and that you can handle every single thing by yourself and taking all the credit? whats wrong with you? dont you freaking know the meaning of teamwork? and people around you tried helping you but then get shooed away. wth. so you think you got people to back you up? and talking to that higher management about whatever things happening and trying to act as if everything is fine? just whats your problem? if you want, you can just open an outlet run by yourself. go and work until you rot and die. asses! urghhhh.

its my turn now.

I didn't expect for it to end this way. You know, you are never a passerby to me. Whatever things that youve done, I really do appreciate all of that. Yes, those memories I couldn't forget. We met, we spent time together and we had fun. It happened as we go along... But then, now, to me, things are different. Not physically but mentally. You know I just couldn't commit and its really hard to stay put. Im sorry again if im selfish, thinking only about my side and making decision for us. Ofcourse it wouldn't be fair. When Im with you, its like putting myself somewhere Im forced to. Its really that hard for me and yes, I know its the same to you too. Everything wouldn't be the same again. We might just end up acting like nothing's wrong. Is it really difficult to be friends? Things dont have to happen now. Its just way to messy and I really dont wish to solve this now.. That's where the ignorance and silence come. I just dont know what to say/response/do. The more I say/response/do, the worst it'll be. And I dont know what to do when there's people approaching and asking me questions I really dont wanna talk about. Its like- "just shut the hell up and go away!" And posting things in the blog, its like so darn obvious. You see, like what im doing now. Huh~