hellohello.

hmm. so, the day today, i went out with some of my NCC friends and played bowling at Safra Yishun Country Club. we played like three games and yeah, i got the lowest score in all of the games. haha. what to do, wahyu kept hitting the balls, syahmi, the lucky one, and me, haiyaa- LONGKANG! what i was saying is that the ball keeps going to the most right/left. haha. what to do luhh sey, i cant keep my freaking mind on the game. fer one of the games, we put our names as syahmi-'bapak kau' , wahyu-'mak kau' n me-'anak kau'. n when it comes to one of their turn, i was like shouting, "eh, bapak kau punyer turn!" lol! while shooting the ball and waiting fer each other's turn, we took some pictures, but its all in wahyu's phone. ermm. not to forget, mustaqim was there, but he didnt play at all. what only. hmm. as long as we did have some fun, i guess. haha. n ouhyarh. there's this one guy, which looks like one of the riverside's sir, named nizam, kept eyeing us, especially the part where we made a nuisance out of ourselves. really crazy luhh. after spending about three hours there, we played at the playground nearby. its more crazier, we played this thing, which is like a see-saw, but is different. i dunnoe how to describe luhh. so, im like the lightest one there and it feels like im flying when they put their weight on it. tak boleh turon sia!! sampai terpekik, "oii! aku nak turon!" lol!

hmm. after playing at the playground, for only like a little while, we got ourselves dirty and went back to the bowling area for the toilet. lol! hmm. soon, we went separate ways. back to home luhh. but mus went to NTUC, to buy taugeh, i think, syahmi and wahyu, to science centre. they wanna take a look at the egg and chicken uhh. LOL! joking only.
..
hmm. five more freaking days and im off to beijing. n ive yet to pack. lol. daddy n mummy bought me this MAN U brand luggage(which sucks to the bottom of the deep blue sea; i mean the brand), an orange with blue coloured jacket, orange gloves and orange coloured thermal wear. amacam, all orange? haha n not forgetting, an orange watch. pasar malam punyer. =P hmm. thanks mummy and daddy. n so sorry fer being lazy these few days. cnt help it luhh. im goin insane. hmm. they noticed so fast. mummy said to me " why are you so weak?! ure going to travel in a few days time. i asked u to eat, u dun want." -_- and daddy said "people grow bigger by day, u grow smaller. *sigh*" ... hmm. how sad. all the lectures, saying im lazy and all.. im just feeling down. and i cant help myself either.
..
haizz. im looking forward for friday to come. hopefully i'll get to meet my exex bf. n at least have some fun.
..
hmm. hokay, should i move on or wait for the stars to drop? hmm. i guess i'll move on. i'll try. since some people dont care about me anymre. huhs. and fine then if u dont wish to entertain me, go ahead, move on, and think only about ureself. selfish loser. i never had thought i had ran into some loser. sumer ncc punyer pasal uh niee. tak guner betol. grrrr!
aku ader life sendiri uh. nabei tak teng teng. if only u didnt appear in my life, things would be better. there wont be a need to crack my head, to waste all the tears and hurt my heart. its pain bodooooooo! i still cant believe whatever that has happened, happened in my life. DAMN! haizz.
..

*my wish list*

1. TO GET OVER YOU
   
2. TO GET OVER YOU
   
3. TO GET OVER YOU ASAP
   
4. to have fun like never at beijing
5. to find a new beginning
6. to get back to life!
   

haha! maken hari, maken giler!
until here then.

takecare people.

*though my heart still hurts. whatever it is, i'll still care fer you. only u know what i mean.*

its worth trying.

as usual, woke up early in the morning for elective module. it feel weird going for module. emotions took over me. and it seriously sucks.

so, i walked to school. huhs. i kept hearing the song 'doy' sang by kangen.. and that song, huhs, memory. ouhkae, u'll only understand if u know what i meant. hmm.

upon reaching school, fiza told me that ive changed, in a sense, not happy like i used to be, and im getting very skinny. but wait, im fat hokayy! i seriously dont like all those fats no me. n im sorry fiza fer ignoring u on that moment, im feeling down luhh.. soon, when evryone has assembled, we went to republic poly to proceed with our course. n damn it, the driver sucks to the most. he's so short tempered and only asked for trouble. hurr. we can go there and come back own our own luhh. its like ure so impt. damn u... haizz. then it was the course itself. it was boring as usual. except for the one hour of playing captain's ball and dogde ball. now i know what to do to make me forget everything that has happened. playing sports with friends is really great. n im so looking forward to go out with NCC mates again. n yess, i did try to make myself involve more in the program; planning and discussion, and make myself smile at least a little. hmm. its worth a try..

damn, im clueless. what more to write?

ouhyarhh. takecare friend, u should really takecare of ureself and dont get sick. its not good. haha!

..

bintang ouh bintang.

kau datang dan pergi untuk selamalamanya.

Uncontrollable

..

start typing out. best way to let it out.. so, i slept pretty late yesterday. around 5-6 plus am. had to do all the changes in life. well, im alone right now..

hmm. so, today, i woke up at 7.30a.m. and got myself ready fer elective module. haizz. everything gets tougher by seconds. im like emotionally down! i couldnt help myself and that feeling totally sucks. its really pretty hard for me to have some peace in mind. every now and then i kept thinking about him. i never wanted it to end this way. =(

i cant stop those tears from rolling down my cheeks.. even walking to school.. my mind is restless. haizz.

my feelings then got worst, when i told two of my classmates about the hot news.. i told them 'eh, aku dah break up ngn faqih..' n before i could complete my sentence, syida was already beating me on my hand, as she thought i was the one who asked fer it. that beating not only hurt my hand, it also pierced my heart. pierced my heart deeply.. i couldnt stand and again tears rolled down. even after telling myself to be strong. ='( i rushed to the ladies and explain it to them.. hurrr!

please okay. i love faqih wholeheartedly and im nt the freaking cause fer the break up. well, many said that his frens was the reason to all those changes. haizz. i just dunnoe wad to do, wad move i should take, wad feeling i shud have. faqih, this feeling sucks u know. n i cant believe i fall in love with u. i cant believe i trust ure words. u turn my world upside down.

.. ='(

haiz. i guess i know wads the exact reason fer this break up.. its pretty sad when ur bf turn away frm u and prefer to talk with his ex gf.

and not being responsible fer his actions. and not keeping his promises. n making his gf trust him so much.

thats it, im lost, and i dunnoe wad else i should do.

..

.

bintang, kau hanya ada buat sementara.